Bored survivor

Survivor role.


Is there an uglier term to describe a job? Possibly a redundant job would be up there along with 'The enemy  upon us. Hands up those who want to join the forlorn hope - where do you think you are going Private eotp?' Comes from the Dutch vorloren hoop meaning lost heap (though heap of what isn't specified. Who goes round losing heaps?) See, a blog on life's silliness and education as the same time. EOTP - double benefit. Buy one get one free.


Here's some definitions from the web

• A survivor is a person who copes with a bad situation or affliction and who gets through.
• To remain alive or in existence.

Glad we got that sorted out then. I think the second one best sums up the excitement of taking a job cos you just gotta eat, you just got to pay the bills. All the rest is way down the priority list.To remain in existence. And that is largely what you have to do, survive.

What are the pros of a survivor role then?

Money

Money

and money

That's it as far as I can tell, oh and getting away from your partner for a few hours every day so that everyone's sanity is preserved. Mainly. There is a philosophy that says potential employers prefer those already in jobs as it shows grit and determination to turn an honest hand to to goodly toil in times of adversity. I say does it cocoa. It seems to me that potential employers no longer regard you as a higher paid employee once you enter survival mode but as someone who has failed in your career and cannot therefore be paid any more or allowed to progress once again. Let me give you an example from the wacky world of higher education.

I was taken on in my role even though I am vastly over-experienced for the position. I know it, they know it. I needed the money, I'd been unemployed for four months and the other candidates were dire I was told. Makes you feel good doesn't it? No wonder I have self-esteem issues these days. Now, I want to apply for higher graded posts to escape this hell of boredom. But I'm not allowed to apply for jobs that are more than one grade above that I'm on even though I may be the best qualified candidate because 'it's not policy. This is how the conversation went;

'So even though you agree I'm the most experienced candidate and meet the role competencies you will take on someone who is less capable than me because he/she is already on a higher grade than me?'

'Yes.'

'This is an HE establishment, don't you subscribe to the philosophy of applied knowledge?'

'What, oh look a squirrel.'

'We work for a reputable, well known business school that promotes the concept of talent management and having the right people in the right job.'

'Tra la la la la tum te tum.'

I give up. How do you deal with this mindset? Them is the rules. No actually they are not rules but policy but you might as well walk to your car, get in and scream at the top of your voice for all the difference it makes. How do I know that? Because I do it regularly that's why and nothing changes.

I'm here, I'm bored, I'm a survivor. I don't know where I am but I know the name of the creek.

1 hour 36 minutes and 10 seconds before I can go home. 

Not that I'm counting.

Defining moment

Remember the final few seconds of 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.?'
The shoot out, the many Mexican soldiers, fading to sepia? Heroic and yet ultimately doomed.


I felt like that last Friday with my 'annual review.'


I've been working in the HE sector for 20 months. In all that time I've never been set any objectives, weekly, monthly, annually or otherwise.


I pointed out, within two months of starting, to my then line manager that my workload was a tad light and that I didn't really know what it was I was meant to be doing.


Her answer? There was none. She left two months later citing the bonkers organisation (and the lure of a much better job of course) as the reason. So there I am adrift in the large, lonely sea of 'what do I do now?' and discovering what already had started to dawn on me, that there wasn't very much to this position. There never was and there never would be. Goodness knows how my line manager had managed to blag her way through the various committees to creating this new position. I guess that's why I never got an answer. A little embarrassing to admit that the logic to the argument for the position would not stand the scrutiny of an average 10 year old. Anyhow, initially not deterred by lack of direction and thriving in ambiguity I stayed calm and carried on. As Confucius said 'If there is no wind then row.'


OK Confucius, that's all OK until someone takes your paddles, stops you putting your hands in the water and then the sea fret comes down and you can't see where you are and which way you are going. 


So it's a slightly embittered, mauled, disillusioned, demotivated, disconsolate employee who comes to the meeting with his two line managers. Two, yes. I've undertaken 23 annual performance reviews so far this year with my small direct team here where I (allegedly) work and with the rather larger volunteer team I manage outside work. I did them all by myself. And they need two here. 
For me. 
Must be a public sector thing, possibly an academic trait. Why use one committee when you can use two?


I decided to have it all out. It is a dangerous manoeuvre to admit that you don't have anything to do - could go very badly wrong. But this was a day that things changed. It would be a positive day, a day of resolution. I would declare all the issues, the lack of motivation, the lack of work and so on. They would work with me to help achieve the promotion I crave, ensure at least I had enough work to get me through the day or implement the redundancy process. Whatever. One way or another things would change.


Or so I thought.


I explained my senior management background (a complete surprise to them, so much for background research). I was open, candid, said I viewed the job as a survivor role but, even though it was not my ideal place to by to a long shot, I wanted to add value whilst I did it. 


I was asked about my objectives as an opening gambit. Actually I was asked to 'contextualise the role.' I had no idea what that meant.
I asked to stop it right there and said there were two fundamental problems.
1. I'm suffering quite a lot of stress from role underload
2. The position is a non job.


The response, from two academics who teach business management, was 'What's that?'


I realised, at that point, this wasn't going to be a very positive meeting if they weren't even aware of basic concepts and could only utter business school speak.


The Wikipedia definintion of a non job is;


'A non job is an allegedly pointless paid position which has few or no worthwhile outcomes, duplicates other work or positions, or is substantially overpaid for the responsibilities. Positions described as 'non-jobs' are allegedly found in abundance the in UK public sector.'


Blackwell Online defines role underload as;


'Role underload is the condition in which the individual has very few role demands, or the demands are very easily accomplished. Both overload and underload are job stressors.'


Spot on.


We didn't achieve much. 
I didn't achieve anything.


I think back to the Butch Cassidy movie ending and envision a revised one. 
'For a moment I thought we were in trouble.'
Run through the door guns drawn.
Everyone's gone home.


My meeting; heroic but ultimately doomed. 

Hardly annuals

Organisations love annual reviews.
At least the larger ones do. 
Or performance development reviews.
Or personal performance development reviews.
Or 'let's just get this over with quickly shall we, you don't want to be reviewed and I don't want to do it.'


I've been reviewed by the good, the bad and the downright incompetent. Sadly the latter seems to predominate. I recall one, carried out by my then Italian line manager, that took all of 5 minutes. And that was him doing most of the talking and taking phone calls on his mobile as we undertook the review. I met him again in the Italian HQ later that year. I recall him proudly showing me the room where the personal reviews were stored, next to each country's annual sales plan with one that I'd worked on for weeks.
'What happens to them now?' I asked.
'Nothing' he replied, 'we never look at them again.'


I've tried to use them, the reviews, despite the deep underlying distrust and scepticism of my team, as a genuine opportunity to talk about performance, objectives, barriers and hurdles to progress. Always hoping, of course, they don't say 'Well it's you that's holding us back, you are the manager from hell.' So far no one has said that.


I know about SMART objectives, open questions, staying silent to allow the team member to talk, making sure the office is quiet and uninterrupted. And still it's like rabbits caught in the headlights. Here we have, I explain, a risk free environment where we can openly discuss your performance and what you'd like to achieve in the next 12 months. And they can't wait to get out of the room. Am I that scary? 


Just to underline the importance of performance monitoring I also ask for quarterly chats so the annual review doesn't become a surprise fest of I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING FOR 12 MONTHS AND I CANT' TAKE IT ANYMORE I AM GOING TO HR SUFFERING FROM STRESS. And that's just me talking.


I've undertaken 22 annual reviews this year. I've done them all myself, prepared the paperwork, had the discussions, set objectives and so on. All on time, all signed, all lined up neatly on a shelf never to be looked at again. 


Now it's mine turn tomorrow.


I have two line managers. Yes indeed this is higher education not the hard pressed public sector. They can afford two or can't decide on one. I don't know, no one tells me anything.
Or I'm that scary.
 I wasn't set any annual objectives over 15 months ago. I pointed out to my then line manager that I hadn't got any, that my workload was falling and...silence. And then she left the business. So this will be an interesting discussion. Being HE it is not mandatory to have an annual review so i did think about declining the very process I have carried out. Ironic really. I have pointed this out and suggested a 'talk about the job role' instead. This was gratefully accepted. Clearly their groundwork is not so well developed as mine. I should video this for YouTube - man commits career suicide on camera as he reveals that he hasn't got very much to do. Imagine, if you will, the final scene of 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.' Glorious, heroic but doomed. And faintly foolish.


However I can't take this anymore. Day after day of boredom so crushing it's making me stressed and affecting my moods. It takes me several hours each day to detox from the boredom. So, tomorrow, they will need two for the review.
And I will be scary.

Perky perks

The Unicorn snorted softly and raised it's head from the grass it was grazing on, it's head swiveling around trying to locate the source of the sound it had just heard.
'That's amazing, so beautiful' she said, so softly I could barely make it out.
We lay there, so still in the bushes overlooking the glade where the Unicorn stood
'I know, I wanted you to see that, to share it with you.
Anyway off to Tescos now before it gets busy?'


I've come back to work after a week's break. As an opening line that was never going to attract anyone's attention hence the alternative.
Anyway, refreshed and largely detoxed, here I am again. I like to get into work at 7.30am. I'd like to leave at 8am but I think it might be noticed. Actually it probably wouldn't.
So what do we have?
We have 12 emails as a backlog.
12.
I used to get 100 to 150 a day four years ago
Now 12. In one week.
It took me, oh, all of 20 minutes to deal with them.
7.50 and I'm done. And that's pretty much it for the day. Check with the team, but they are not busy either, make a coffee and then check the web. All day.
Now I have a strong protestant work ethic. I come to work, I want to work, I want to contribute. I'd like to go home at the end of the day (actually 4pm) without my brain being numb with boredom. How can you do that when there isn't actually anything you can do?
I work (still makes me smile that 'I work') in Higher Education. They do things differently here. For example the perks, the coffee break. 
Every day filter coffee, a selection of teas and biscuits are served in the coffee lounge where you can also read the daily papers, the qualities and the Daily Telegraph. Want to take longer than 30 minutes? No problem, no one will mention it. If, for some reason, fresh coffee is not available then it's free vend on the coffee machine.
I've got picky, very picky. 
Where I last worked you were lucky to get a cup of lukewarm water in a mug that looked as if it  were being used to develop a wide range of toxic bacteria. Other places have involved a trek using porters and mules to get to the canteen that served a wide range of pies, chips, chips and pies with large mugs of strong tea. However now, if the fresh coffee isn't available for some reason, I'm there with the others grumbling about the decline in service standards and having to use the free vend.


We have barbecues. Two each year, with wine, beer and so on. All free. We have Christmas parties. Last year there were three. A team one (free), a departmental one (free) and another one for some reason (guess what, free). We got given a selection box each. This is with your money. 

'My screen isn't big enough' I mentioned a while back. Within the hour I had a brand new 21" wide screen monitor as a replacement. What took them so long I want to know?


I get 34 days holiday a year. I think it goes up to 206 next year. That might not be true but it is going up by one day. I work flexitime, come in early, go home early, hour for lunch, 36 hour week, finish 3pm Friday.
What are you moaning about then I hear you tweet/text/email? I'd love to have that job, sounds a dream.


It isn't a dream it's a nightmare. I was happier working much longer hours for less holiday (though much more pay) where I was able to contribute to the business each day and, cliche though it is, make a difference. Now I sweep the streets I used to own. I have nothing to do of any value and I struggle to make it through the day. It is mind crushingly boring. I hate the web. It's the only thing I have for hours some days and, when I get home, the last thing I want to do is go on the web again.


And so it's coffee time. This is a pre-coffee coffee you understand. A sort of older persons pre-lash to help me make it through the day.

Fob fibs

I am used to rejection now and being fobbed off. 


Apply for jobs in your 50s and it is par for the course. That's not to say it wounds sometimes, mostly I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again but other times it just gets me leaking steam. This is a steam moment.


In my last blog I mentioned that I had terminated an interview after 5 minutes because the maximum salary, which hadn't been mentioned in any of the adverts, was revealed in the interview after just two minutes to be quite a bit less than I'm currently earning. If I'd have known that I wouldn't have wasted my time. So I walked out. I wasted time on the application, took half a day's holiday and bore the cost of travelling to the interview.


Then I get this email.


'Thank you for attending the interview...the quality of candidates who attended the interview was extremely high, however after careful consideration; (sic) I regret to inform you that you have been unsuccessful on this occasion.'


They can't even get the facts right.


I emailed them to say you've just wasted my time - HR replied;


'However, in terms of the salary, the salary was negotiable according to the qualifications and experience of the successful candidate, it is just unfortunate that you asked what the salary range was at the interview.'


What? 


Silly me to ask what the salary range was.



The MD raised the subject after 2 minutes not me. And anyway why would I not ask what the salary range was at some point - why is that 'unfortunate'? I'd have thought that was rather essential.

The MD said that the maximum they would pay was £quite little and that it was not 'negotiable according to the qualifications and experience of the successful candidate' and that she believed that the maximum salary was on the all the adverts. It wasn't.


If an advert says  'salary negotiable according to the qualifications and experience of the successful candidate' that seems perfectly clear and unambiguous. If the salary is capped at a maximum then I'd have thought that should be stated otherwise it is misleading.


It will make no difference. However if it causes a minor irritation for some HR idiot then my mission is complete.

Tell me, why do you want this job?

'Tell me, why do you want this job?'


A standard opening gambit in an interview by the interviewer. To which there is a standard reply.


'I need the money, Job Seekers Allowance is less than the weekly pocket money most kids in the area where I live receive, JSA is about to run out and I can't find anything else, I am desperate, I'm over 50, vastly over qualified for any job that's going and I know it.'


No, we all know that's not what we say and we find an acceptably diplomatic reply, the interviewer nods and goes on to ask 'So you're over 50, do you find that you've slowed down to the pace of an arthritic dormouse, brain no longer agile, no idea what's going on and do you know what a mouse is if it it isn't the small rodent from the Muridae genus?'


Yes I know they don't say that either but that's what the 23 year old who is interviewing you is thinking.


Why do you want this job is a question you need to seriously ask yourself. Here's another one; 


Q; Why do people have low paid jobs?
A; Because they accept them.


I used to be able to control the seas, make the tides ebb and flow. Just four years ago I had responsibility for 400 staff, £24m T/O and the organisational strategy. Now, 70% lower salary, a job so dull I can barely make it through the day without wanting to hurl a piece of furniture across the room in frustration. Sometimes I want to hurl a member of staff across the room for patronising me. Again.


Amazingly I had two interviews within 48 hours of each other this week.


The first, where I currently, er 'work', was for a position two grades above the lowly one I'm on now. 
The first issue is that it is two grades above the one I'm currently on. The Higher Education establishment I work for say you can't jump two grades but have to go one by one - even if you are the most qualified candidate. Meh. But they interview me anyway. Meh again. This proved to be a classic 'You can't have this job unless you've done the exact same one before.' . Why are they interviewing me then? Then they go on to the condescending questions. Have you any experience at dealing with senior people. Can you use a pen? Sadly the desk is to heavy to throw and we are on the ground floor so defenestration would be fun but ultimately not very rewarding. Through gritted teeth I explain 'I was a Director of a substantial company four years ago and had been for a number of years before that and dealt daily with MDs of organisations of substantially bigger than this one.'
Ah but I hadn't dealt with the senior staff of this particular HE establishment who, apparently, were more senior, more wonderful, more everything than anything I'd ever dealt with before or could possibly comprehend, and therefore could not be considered for the role. I also was not able to express a view about the ideal location of the printers on each floor of the offices so that counted against me in a big way. No of course it wasn't printers, that was just a facile comment, but the actual question posed was one that only an insider could have a view on and then only if they'd considered having a view on everything else first, such as could a weasel stand for parliament? Considering it's an HE establishment the concept of applied knowledge is an alien one.

The second - the second lasted six minutes before I walked out. The opening question was 'Tell me, why do you want this job?'. Once I'd got over the creativeness of the MD in coming up with such a novel question, and answered in a diplomatic fashion, we then got onto the 'Why, as you are obviously so skilled and with a very wide background, are you applying for a job with a salary of £utter peanuts?'
I blinked. 'It says salary subject to negotiation and dependent on skills' I said showing them their very own document they had emailed to me.'
Oh how we laughed about that. We didn't, that was the salary, even less than the derisory one I already suffer, so I walked out. No point in wasting any more of my time. Don't get me wrong, I was polite. But I was out of there.


So why did I want the job?


Because I'm disillusioned, disinterested, demotivated, under employed, stressed, barely using 1% of my potential, ignored, invisible, patronised and condescended to (and I've only been in work two hours so far today). I'm in my mid 50s, with two degrees a very wide business background and no body seems to want me anymore. And that hurts.


 I used to own the streets I now clean.


Still there's always tomorrow.

Bored meeting

I'm bored. 


Very bored.


Quite stressed as well since you ask. You didn't? Don't walk away, well not for the moment anyway. I'm also a little lonely, could do with a chat.


Have you read any Charles Handy? He's very good. I've read all his books. Actually I've read a lot of books, many of them at work. Not a lot else to do most days. I have an unspoken contract with my employer, in the public sector. They pretend to pay me and I pretend to work.


Charles Handy then. He wrote that an individual feels his/her role definition is out of line with his self-concept when he/she has a capacity to handle a bigger role or greater set of roles. An individual suffers a rude shock (I should say, I was very rude when I was offered this job) which in the opinion of the individual is well below their capacity. Role underload, continues Mr Handy, is the form of role conflict which most threatens an individual's self concept. It is the most insidious, but most ignored, perverter of organisational efficiency. 


It also destroys one's sense of self worth, undermines your confidence, causes teeth grinding on an epic scale (that dental hygienists love) eats into the very fabric of your soul causing you to diminish slightly every day as you have to deal with people in the organisation who have less experience but are paid substantially more. And also are your manager. And then you take it home with you. The cat runs out of the house now in a Pavlovian reaction to my kicking it on arrival (no I don't, I don't have a cat or any pet - it's my little joke).


Other than that I have a lot of fun. 


No I don't. 


I'm years away from retirement, need to work so my family can eat and live in a very privileged area where just about everyone earns more than me. I am fed up. I loathe coming to work. I leave on time, to the minute. I've never done that before.


I blogged about being unemployed (www.copingwithredundancy.blogspot.com). Now join me in my world of the poorly paid, underemployed. Or, as Marvin the Paranoid Android says 'Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't.'


I've just had a look on ebay -sadly they don't sell flaming brands and pitchforks because all of us in this position, and there must be thousands out there, should be walking down the streets of London asking just where the jobs are for us? 


Because we are over 50 we seem to be written off, ignored, become invisible. And I was told there was a Father Christmas.